So after an excrutiatingly disjoined start, i plan to restart what i once started, n hopefully stick with it(that a PCD song? :P we'll get there someday i'm sure). As of now, i'm sitting on my desk in Kota,with a physics module opened to page 1, and about 20 questions seem to be starin at me. N i can safely say its not too much effort to ignore them. Infact, i'm used to people starin at me now. I'm a loosely clothed, shorts wearin, stubbled loner in the education village of Kota. I break into English when i wanna express myself better. THAT doesn't help in Kota. For the unaware, Kota is somethin of an education capital of India.. atleast for IIT JEE aspirants. Except its essentially an underdeveloped town, or a lil developed village. Yet, ironically, here, noone wears anything short of Versace, Gucci, Dolce & Gabbana and Live's (no, thats not a typo, atleast not from my side). And the copiers couldn make them less like the originals. Even if they tried.
But its got its niceties too. The place i'm living in has a terrace, on which i enjoy both, peace, and a nice proximity to nature, and the palm trees n the fountain which it overlooks adds to it. Something that was never there in Delhi. The skies are breathtakingly beautiful during rain. My initial days consisted of me taking lots of snaps of them , often.
While i wouldn't wanna admit i enjoy the place ( and frankly i don't, not ENJOY.) i am quite distinctly aware of the fact that this happens to be a transition period of my life. And i've already learnt a lot about me. Like my pride of bein non-vain, of havin the audacity to jus rise from sleep n go to a Barista, without caring what i look like was unfounded. There is only so bad u can look living in AC, and wearin adidas shorts wid branded slippers. Here, my day starts much earlier, n there is no AC, no Barista. There is an objective, n a means to it. And everyone wants that objective, n are willing to go beyond the means to it. Most have no clue bout the world it leads to.
At this point, i can't help but shed my arrogance, n realise, that i have nothing to be proud of. Personality? Exposure? U gain it easy in life. Or atleast you can at any time. I have my dad maybe to be proud of, for bringing me into such comfort, but i haven't seen struggle (or atleast hadn't). I mean whats so great bout being born into luxury? Who can't survive or live that? But going up against the odds...THAT demands strength. So what if they are bad at English or dunno French or have never had female friends or bein to lounges n bars or basically lack aestheticism? They atleast have a dream, and a drive to achieve it. Ofcourse there is a lot more to life than IIT. Thats not even half the battle won. Proof being that such a large number of them end up in coaching institutes which claim to hold the key to it. And many fail to impress. But its definitely no mean feat. Don't get me wrong, its not sour grapes.
Anyhow the point being, so far its been a self discovery, and i'm not as completely non superficial as i had perceived myself to be in Delhi. But i'm learning better now. I dun judge anymore. I still like my space, thats unfortunately too deeply ingrained by now, but i'm learning to share it. I'm learning that for an all or nothing temperament, "nothing" must precede "all". I'm learning about life.
Excuse me now. My books still await.
But its got its niceties too. The place i'm living in has a terrace, on which i enjoy both, peace, and a nice proximity to nature, and the palm trees n the fountain which it overlooks adds to it. Something that was never there in Delhi. The skies are breathtakingly beautiful during rain. My initial days consisted of me taking lots of snaps of them , often.
While i wouldn't wanna admit i enjoy the place ( and frankly i don't, not ENJOY.) i am quite distinctly aware of the fact that this happens to be a transition period of my life. And i've already learnt a lot about me. Like my pride of bein non-vain, of havin the audacity to jus rise from sleep n go to a Barista, without caring what i look like was unfounded. There is only so bad u can look living in AC, and wearin adidas shorts wid branded slippers. Here, my day starts much earlier, n there is no AC, no Barista. There is an objective, n a means to it. And everyone wants that objective, n are willing to go beyond the means to it. Most have no clue bout the world it leads to.
At this point, i can't help but shed my arrogance, n realise, that i have nothing to be proud of. Personality? Exposure? U gain it easy in life. Or atleast you can at any time. I have my dad maybe to be proud of, for bringing me into such comfort, but i haven't seen struggle (or atleast hadn't). I mean whats so great bout being born into luxury? Who can't survive or live that? But going up against the odds...THAT demands strength. So what if they are bad at English or dunno French or have never had female friends or bein to lounges n bars or basically lack aestheticism? They atleast have a dream, and a drive to achieve it. Ofcourse there is a lot more to life than IIT. Thats not even half the battle won. Proof being that such a large number of them end up in coaching institutes which claim to hold the key to it. And many fail to impress. But its definitely no mean feat. Don't get me wrong, its not sour grapes.
Anyhow the point being, so far its been a self discovery, and i'm not as completely non superficial as i had perceived myself to be in Delhi. But i'm learning better now. I dun judge anymore. I still like my space, thats unfortunately too deeply ingrained by now, but i'm learning to share it. I'm learning that for an all or nothing temperament, "nothing" must precede "all". I'm learning about life.
Excuse me now. My books still await.
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