Lets Stop Lying a bit.*

So I hate lies. Even fibs. As a result to be able to do what other mortals do with the help of lies(AKA, save their ass), I perfected another art. That of finding technical loop holes. Everything you say is open to my interpretation within the bounds of reasonable assumptions, and everything I say is open to your interpretation. Its not my fault if you do not interpret my thought correctly.

The main trick to this lies in being incredibly vague, non-committal, and therefore unaccountable.

Here are a few ways in which you can achieve the above:

Always keep adding an I guess at the end of every sentence in your conversation... I guess. Thereby it is a clear indication, that what you say is only your interpretation of the scenario, and that you can basically not be held accountable for any of the negative out comes of the mentioned situation.

Man created a brilliant escape-device for words and situations. Its greatness lies in 2 things:
- its versatility of usage, and its simplicity.
What I'm talking about are the three letters -ish.

What colour are your clothes? White-ish. (That is, somewhat like white, but not really that)
How're your studies coming along? okay-ish (That is, somewhat okay, but not really that)
What kind of clothes are you looking for? Green-ish (That is, If you find me green clothes, I will most definitely reject them)
What the f-ish? (That is, somewhat F, but not really that)
I use D-ish tv (That is somewhat D, but not really that)

I don't really think the last two made much sense btw.

Third, there are substitute words for nothing. Like:-
Kinda,

maybe,

sorta,

somewhat,

I suppose.

You should keep adding them at random after every 7 or less words, in a sentence.

Here is an example:

:Dude, can I come over to your place?

-yeaa... sure.. I guess..

:Oh.. is it ok?

-Yeah man.... Kinda.. I suppose..

:Are you really sure?

- Totally man. I suppose..

:Ok... (pause) ...What time then?

-I dunno... come at 26hours-ish or around then, by 24 hour clock?

:What?!?!?!?

-I really look forward to seeing you...I guess... Don't come before 24hours tho.

Fourth.

Answer to the point. And answer exactly what they ask.

(Parents call you up when you're at home watching tv)

Parent: What are you upto?

Immediately grab any random book near you, open any random page, and read any random line.

You: Was going through some stuff. [Its even better if its in Hindi, as the word for reading and studyin is the same in hindi. So when your parents ask what're you doin, you can truthfully answer main padh raha tha]

And Last but far from least.

There are lots of words that don't have an exact definition. Exploit that.

Example: If your parents ask you, did you study well when we were gone,

you can ask them, "what exactly do you mean by well?" OR you can define well as - the kind of study you did.

"Everything you say is open to my interpretation within the bounds of reasonable assumptions, and everything I say is open to your interpretation."

What here qualifies as a 'reasonable' assumption? I'm uncertain. Hence any assumption I make is, by my standards, reasonable.

Example:

: Was your group study with your friends nice and productive?

-(Interpreted as, did you get stoned at the friends' party and dance around in your underwear before falling into the tub of water in front of them?)

Yeah!! totally.

Lets stop lying a bit.