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Clouds.

Hello there.

Its been quite sometime now since a proper post. I wonder if I even remember how its done. Now that would be tough if only there was anything to it right?

Technically, "asdjhqowie" would qualify as a post. Not an interesting one, or even comprehensible for that matter.. or any adjective other than rubbish, crap or WTF?!? (which isn't really an adjective, but it still describes stuff I suppose, so lets ignore that for now.) [**pssst - I conveniently left out the implications the word 'proper' may have had.] But well, whatever.

So anyway, I just gave my IIT paper yesterday. Before the 1st paper, I was awesomely relaxed, cool and positive, which was a bit mad at a level, cuz I'd so totally ruined my life for Mr.Judgement Day here, and the least I could do was feel apprehensive and tensed, and NO, it wasn't the confidence in my preparation. It was more of that strange peace n disattachment I seem to feel when strong emotions are required. And there's obviously some communication gap between my mind and my body. My mind deems stress as a stupid emotion I suppose. Cuz it stays calm, and my body starts tryin to maul and break itself. I twist my toes and fingers, and just really contort my hands and feet. And its totally sub conscious. So I'll be walking around, and my 2nd toe will be on top of the 1st, in a position which is slightly disconcerting to see.

But anyway, so I was quite relaxed before the 1st paper. Except when I picked up the pen to start writing, my hand was shaking a bit, and I just smiled a lil in my mind like "Ah, I'm that tensed?!". (You can leave phone nos. of good psychiatrists if you know any. Not that I'd call them and make appointments. It was a general statement, like you can eat cake or you cannot grow your head back, if I slay it.)

So the 1st paper was quite nice really. I mean, after it, I was like actually quite hopeful and positive. And then, after lunch, I suddenly randomly started feeling fear. I reasoned that there wasn much to worry, that when your life has mostly been bout tellin you how you can't have that thing you want, findin it within your reach, and darin to hope can be a tad scary.

I was SO off the mark. The 2nd paper wasn much great at all. I found it difficult and almost felt like it was undoing the 1st. And then, towards the end, my body started to gag out of tension I think. Outside the centre, I just felt like vomiting. I brought it back to composure.

But that just tells me, I got a SIXTH SENSE right?!?! :P

Sucks how I'm stuck with just the silver lining for so long now without any real sunshine.

Ah wel, I'll deal with it.

Comments

blog.sahil.me said…
HAHAHAHHAHAHA! Dude.

I was eating while reading this. The "you can't grow your head back if I slay it" part nearly made me choke, it was so funny xD
blog.sahil.me said…
Oh and, your template is niice, but it hurts my eyes :P
Sam said…
haha, thanks.

The template stays. Atleast for now. :P
Espèra said…
Sahil what's with everybody's template hurting yours eyes? Jeez. Your eyes are Sensitive.
Have more bananas.

And YOU Mr. Blog Writer. How can sunshine have a silver lining? O: It's only clouds that do. And clouds ke saath sunshine nahi milti. It's not a buy one get one free offer. It's a buy one and the other one's not even for sale offer. But if you don't have the money to buy what you want, you just gotta live with what you have. ;)
Sam said…
I meant, I've been lookin at the silver lining of the clouds for too long in my life (which itself implies that there are just clouds all around, that I've been pleasin myself by tryin to see the good in the shit.) I NEED some pure real sunshine now.

Get it? :P
blog.sahil.me said…
It's the white on black thing na! :P
Pyzam has this template called Telephone or something like that, even that's light on dark but the contrast is much nicer =)

@Sam: Haan haan, otherwise it's pretty cool :)
Sam said…
Like, I need some REAL happiness as opposed to how I've jus making do wid kiddin myself typa thing. :P
Kriti said…
OMG there's a communication gap between my mind and body too! Like, ditto :O Tell me when you have a cure.
Nice blog, btw =)
Sam said…
@wild iris: thanks!! :)
@baja: whaaaa? :S
A said…
Real sunshine?

Isn't it already so freaking hot these days? :\


PS: LOVE the new template!
Sam said…
@AJ: Its metaphorical dodo. Like SERIOUSLY. :S

Read above comments for reference. :P
A said…
Dude, Sam, I can't believe you thought that I didn't get the metaphor. :\

I was trying to be FUNNY.

Needless to say I failed miserably. =P
blog.sahil.me said…
@Avni: I told him that you were surely joking. He didn't believe me. Tut tut =P
Sam said…
@AJ: SO SORRY! :P
Espèra said…
I know. :P

But my Buy one Get one Free metaphor was good na? :P
Sam said…
haha! yea, it totally was. :P
A said…
@Sahil: Looks like I've got a really bad impression on him. He thinks I'm extremely dumb. xD

@Sam: You knoww wwhat? I lost 1000 bucks today. I swear they vanished from my pocket and I'm going crazy thinking how!
Yeah so Momma lost her cool again. =P The funniest part about her bashing is; the first 5 mins of it is related to the "crime" I committed and the next 15 mins or so is the usual bullshit I told you about last time. And she has a fixed set of dialogues! So when the first 5 mins are over, I register her dialogues in my mind before she actually starts saying 'em and lol it's hilarious when I repeat 'em in my mind. =P =P

I'm SOOO curious to know how the money got vanished. Like so much, I wouldn't mind paying another grand just to know HOW I lost it. It was actually the first time I ever lost money!(and I used this as a pretext to bring back Mom's temper to normal...rofl)
Sam said…
@AJ- I dun think you're dumb. I think you're quite intelligent, but jus u have ur goofy moments once in a while I suppose? :P
And like seriously 1000 bucks? :P
Sam said…
You love physics, you wrote for mags, u won that international photo thingy yada yada oh and did I mention you love PHYSICS?! Its a dense subject, and I'd be dense to think you're dense. :P
A said…
Achcha bas =P

Yeahhh 1000 bucks!

I could've bought 200 Fun Flips.
I love Fun Flips =D =D =D

OH WAIT. Shut up Avni! *slaps her forehead*
I've got a bet to win ;)
Sam said…
OH COOL! Even I measure money in terms of how many packets of chips I can buy with it. People told me I was weird for doin that. :P
blog.sahil.me said…
I don't eat chips that much, but even I still measure money in terms of bags of chips =P
Sam said…
Yea!? I've never heard you do that tho. Are you sure you're not confusin it? :P

And AJ: if you were on facebook, we wouldn be spamming my blog right now. :/
blog.sahil.me said…
@Sam: Okay, so you said "don't reply" first and then you removed it, I'm not really sure what you want me to do now =P

@Avni: WHY aren't you on facebook?!
A said…
Haha! You both do that too? Hi5 then =P Though it's not always chips for me. Sometimes it's dresses/shoes too! :D

I'm not planning to return to FB any soon. Just don't feel like it. It's relieving to know I'm not a facebook addict because I always thought I was one!

Just be happy that I'm increasing the no. of comments on your blog okay?
I haven't got another place to spam :(
blog.sahil.me said…
Ooh, if spamming's your thing, you're always welcome to my blog ;)
A said…
@Sahil: Haha! Yea, I saw that "don't reply I know what you'll say" too!
LOL.
And I'm not on FB because It was just getting irritating and I don't know why. And well, personally I like to be left alone sometimes.
When I start missing it badly, I'll be back!
A said…
@Sahil: I do read your blog too!

Fine, I'll spam some more from now on! *evil laugh*
Sam said…
Haha. Yes, like I decided to stop claimin to know things before they happened. :P

And really you can be ON facebook, without bein addicted to it u know! like even i find it irritatin sometimes, so i jus dun check it type for pretty long et all..! its not as cool as it was for me either. I guess now m obsessin over the blog. cuz of the 29 comments. even tho after 18 or somethin they stopped havin to do anythin with the blog. :P

And thanks for spammin tho. Its cool! B)
blog.sahil.me said…
@Sam: I know right? Thirty one now =P

@Avni: Oh you dooo? Awesome xD
Koo said…
Omg, i was at this 'deciding moment' in my life just now, trying to figure out if i wanted to go for iit or not, and then I come across This! Woah. :\
Sam said…
Unless you're capable of immense hardwork, leavin everythin else for a few yrs. I would advise against really.

Ofcourse, final decision must be yours. :P
blog.sahil.me said…
@Koo: Exactly what Sam said. Basically, if you want to do well in the JEE, you'll need to work really hard, managing school and coaching and everything else.

Of course, you may be a genius, in which case you're at the receiving end of our collective envy ;)
Sam said…
Genius, or just naturally know the answer to physics chem and maths questions, by staring them down or other interrogation methods.

Either way, you stil have our collective envy. :P
blog.sahil.me said…
@Sam: That sounds very like being a genius =P
Espèra said…
I echo their sentiments, Koo. :P

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