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Story of a Mad Man

I'm a mad man. I swear to God I'm crazy. Honestly. Right now I'm talking specifically relationships wise, although that statement would probably hold true in many other scenarios too!

So to start off, I'm a commitment phobe. But I'm not your normal kind of commitment phobe - the ones who are afraid of being tied down to a single person for an incredibly long time - nope, I'm not that. I'm commitment phobic cuz my mind, which is rather smart (and basically practical) knows that almost no relationship at this age will actually last through and I hate the ending part, so I'm actually a commitment phobe cuz I hate break ups. Sweet innit? ( But this is valid, only until the time that I haven't gotten into a relationship. After I get into one, I'm a girl. I also exaggerate a million times.)

Now, if I hate break ups, I must tend to not let go of a relationship after a break up right? Like I must be the kind who tries to hold on? Right.. Except that's not true. I really don't know how to react to a "Hey, I think I need a break..." / "This doesn't seem to be working out..." etc. except sayin, "Yea, I figured, its cool. Bbye, Good Luck!".

I mean, SERIOUSLY?

Moreover, irrespective of how crazily involved I might be, I move on really quick. In my psyche, break-up is the last resort, if things are that bad that you gotta move to it, its better to just let go. The longest I took was about 4 days, which was with my 1st which had been about a 6 month long deal. She'd dumped me ( I mean I expected it in that week, but not on that day) and then she'd called up a week later, and at the 1st hello, I didn't even recognise her voice.

Third, being a guy, I should atleast have a childish male ego when the girl breaks up and feel like, who the hell does she think she is to break up with me? right? Except, I cannot break up. Like I just can't. It always has to be the girl who breaks up. Even if I'm suffocatin in the thing, I'll wait to have her break up with me.

Its when I told a friend this, that he deduced the fact that I am crazy.
To me this is still largely absurd behaviour yet, and not crazy.

What is crazy though is the fact that I wanted my last relationship to either last nicely, or end preferably on the 21st of August. Cuz my first was about 6 months, my second was about 4 months, and it'd have been cool, if the pattern had been completed, as on 21st, we'd have done 2 months. The second pattern that would have gotten completed on the 21st of August was that of all my break ups happening in the month of August.

So, when she did break up with me on 31st July, I couldn't help thinkin that my break-ups-in-August-record had been broken.

If only she'd waited a few more hours...

What's worse is, she knew about the August record. What's still worse is the question, that WHO THE HELL THINKS THAT IN THAT SITUATION??

I also have this thing of decidin to take a break from this stuff after a break up. This time, I really will. [ I will hurt people who smirk - (or I'll make the false claim that I will) ]

And also, I really find myself so bugging when I post on the blog sometimes. If I were you, I'd hit me if I found me, (and if I were me - which I am - when you did that, I'd dodge).

Also, due post on college. I'll write soon (hopefully)

Comments

Espèra said…
Maybe she broke up early because she did NOT want to satisfy your pattern and hence katta you!

:P
A said…
"I also have this thing of decidin to take a break from this stuff after a break up. This time, I really will."

Acknowledged.
Sam said…
@Espera: Yea, I think so too. :P

@AJ: Don't. :P
Anonymous said…
hahaha, Espera is intelligent. :P

and tu BILKUL pagal hai.

- Su
Sam said…
Haha, Bitch, ek din wait kar leti toh mar jaati? :P mera pattern tod diya. :P

And you know I love the mad tag right? :P
blog.sahil.me said…
You needed a friend to tell you you were crazy? :P

Also this was a funny post =P

Oh and btw, I just realized that having 2 break ups in August doesn't really qualify as a "record" :P
Sam said…
3 would've but. :P
blog.sahil.me said…
Yes, but that means that her breaking up before August didn't actually break any records - it just didn't set any =P
Sam said…
It destroyed an incomplete creation.

Go die.
blog.sahil.me said…
A record's not a creation man :P

I see you changed your template. Now I can actually read posts on your blog :D
Sam said…
I distinctly remember tellin u to go die. :P

Achha sun, i called you!! call me when u find the time.
blog.sahil.me said…
Yeah I know man. Rather, I called and you didn't pick up and I was on the phone when you called and I really don't like this system of your number not being reachable from a landline I mean what the hell?!
I second Sahil on the post being funny =D

And Sahil's prolly really fed up of me seconding people. I shall try to stop. But I'm not promising anything =P
Sam said…
hehe, thanks! :)
fivefeetsmall said…
=))
i don't like break ups..i don't date..i just like ppl...and i tell them...n sometimes they like me too..but it's not like dating...
:-s

yay i'm weirder..

august pattern thingie really made me laugh :P
Sam said…
Been there too. :P

This female once told me that she used to like me. I told her, that I still do, and then we never dated, cuz according to me, she used to like me, when actually, she did back then too. It was back in 7th i think. :P Plus I was anyway so overawed by her, that I didn have the guts to ask out anyway.

And thanks! :P
Rohini said…
Very interesting to read an honest guy perspective on relationships. Especially if its from someone as 'mad'as you. though i'm thinking it'd be a hasty generalization to make.Thankfully. no?
Sam said…
Haha, thanks, but I dunno if you wanna label this an honest guy-perspective on relationships.

Its not so much an opinion/perspective, as just an observation of my slightly off-sanity behaviour don't you think? :P

Plus, I kinda think that relationships depend entirely on the people involved, and not so much the whole girls-go-this-way and guys-go-that-way deal. I mean there are guys who get more involved than the girls and vice-versa, so its really bout that individual. Atleast in my opinion. :)

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