The awkward moment when you break character, and tell a not-to-be believed story

 So a lot of things happened.

I am not sure where I left you guys the last time, but here's some updates.

I have now been working at my big tech company for about 4 years. The plan was to do it for 3 years, then get out and work on something more meaningful to me. But there were a few more things that happened in between.

I got into yoga and meditation big time for about 2 years. 

It was the kind of getting into yoga and meditation, where people meet you after a few months, and do not recognize you, because you look different, you talk different, and you generally have a different air about you.

I was deep enough, that I would wake up at 3:40 am everyday and sometimes be doing 2-3 hours of yoga a day before going into work.

This one time I went 5 days while eating about 3 oranges, and 1 lunch -> that too was mainly because I got tired of the fact that I wasn't hungry.

I also remember sitting at work one day looking very intently at my skip manager, and suddenly seeing the color red around him, and I got confused for a bit, then I thought maybe I'm seeing auras, so I googled it to see what traits it was associated with, and found it was associated with huge amounts of creativity, and it kind of fit him.

I also saw the color of my immediate manager, it was a green, then I googled to find it was associated with being chill with work life, which fit as well, cuz he was slacking, but also at the same time pretty chill.

Then. I saw orange on people on the streets.

Saw a dark-ish yellow on myself, which showed huge amounts of activity in the spine, which took on light blue, purple, pink among other colors.

This was an especially fun and colorful time in my life, as life was giving me so much info about people in a room.

At the same time, I became intensely keen to go to an Ashram, and live there, and my plan was to have one last big love affair experience before leaving society.

There was actually so much going on at that time. I switched 2 jobs, dated a couple of people (mostly sequentially) Realized, that on some level there may not be much of a difference between me and a plant experientially, explored kriya yoga, did some things which don't make logical sense.

Definitely a big credit goes to the organization with which I was doing the yoga for being able to make me so intense even if for a short while, but I don't want to talk about that here, cuz this is my rant not an advertisement, and also people in these states kind of become cultish sometimes. You know, like Apple users.

Anyway, so I got married to the last big love affair experience I was trying to have, cuz she pointed out I was only limited involved, which made me realize you can't have the experience without falling into it, doesn't matter ashram or marriage.

And they both aren't all that different either. Both lead to being disillusioned by life, and liberation, while giving some amounts of bliss in the process, you know exactly like all life.

So, did I lose my mind for a bit and come back to my senses? I guess that's one way to put it, but if I am more precise, it's like, first you have huge amounts of attention, so much attention that instead of focussing on the events in your life, your focus shifts to the time between the events, so each second looks like it's going on forever, and in these moments, even a thought is too gross and big, because even a thought takes time, so the moments between the seconds cannot be noticed in a thinking mind, this is the absence of a mind. Once the mind is that silent, reality is altered, primarily because there are just happenings on the outside, an action is just an action, a word is just a word, no more is there anything within you making meanings out of what people say, and linking it to a past to create a story of the future. Without the mind, there's also no you, because your own self is manufactured in the form of a story in the mind.

And when you are in that kind of silence 2 funny things are true together

1. you are capable of creating reality as you want

2. the you that can want reality, is not there, so you may not be interested in creating a reality for yourself.

So, even being there and overpowered is like whatevs type. Life's good enough as it is without people finding out more than they need to.

But this is definitely a brilliant way to make alterations to your information patterns (also referred to as karma) What are your information patterns? The way you eat, the way you think, the way you get depressed at home, the way you sabotage relationships, essentially, the things you want to change about yourself, which you think requires will power.

But let's get back to the rant.

So now I'm married, and I think all the marriage jokes are even funnier with that extra element of relatability to it. So does my wife I think. Also I keep calling her my girlfriend. Life's nuts.

Love to all in this pandemic ridden world. Hang in there, it all gets better for sure.