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Wubba Lubba Dub Dub

Depression is not about being sad.
Well, it's as much about being sad as having a cold is about sneezing. Sure, that's the most obvious symptom. But trying to fix depression by trying to make someone laugh or feel a bit better is about as effective as putting a finger under the nose to stop the sneezing.

Okay, crappy analogy, sure, but the point I'm trying to drive is, that the very obvious sadness is just a consequence or a symptom of a deeper rooted problem. And the deeper rooted problem is that of disconnect. The kind of disconnect that prevents you from getting truly involved with life.

Whether it comes from feeling that you're worse off than everything around you, or way smarter/better than everything around you. The result is the same. This lack of involvement in your life means, that all solutions that are tried, to pull you out, become ineffective because of the distance you maintain from everything. After everything passes, whether it's a great social gathering, or the most beautiful song that managed to distract you from the disconnect, you return back to the disconnect. Deeming everything else as meaningless, and finding no real satisfaction in anything.

Surrounding this disconnect is often an inability to be vulnerable in front of people. Or trying to live up to various people's image of your strong self, which means you never truly open up to talk about how things are, and why would you, when you aren't even sure how much time and energy the fix might take.

And no, don't get me wrong, the fix isn't hope, or happiness, or any such shit, the fix is engagement. Ideally with someone you can open up to maybe. But then again, you shouldn't get engaged cuz you're depressed. That's much worse than being drunk. Or some shit. What the fuck do I know, I look like a psychiatrist to you? All this is just what the fuck I think anyway.

I'm so glad this blog is a bit of a secret, so I can peacefully write about random shit. Also, greater freedom to say fuck. Also wubba lubba dub dub!!


Comments

Raj said…
This is interesting.
Sam said…
haha, yea think I had a phase for a while.

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