Unspoken Verses

Hey, so i jus wanna make a correction from the last post. Except for those who didn like The Longest Rant, frm the rest, i take back my apologies. Basically, i had written the post, then few days later, considerin it was long n serious(ie not dry and sarcastic) i thought it was awful. Then i red it later, n liked it and so i posted it. Few days later, when i forgot its contents, i again, thought its too long and borin, so i apologised. I read it again now. And i liked it.( if this were an infinite series, i wudve forgotten its contents and disliked it again and then read it again...you get the drift) So there. I take back my apologies. Of course, if u did not like it, you can keep them. Nehow right now, i'm quite simply tired of livin here. I dun exactly have anyone i could relentlessly whine to. Girlfriends come in handy in these situations. They atleast pretend to care. I say pretend, cuz then they become exes, which is even cooler. I mean the very word 'ex' itself is so ...

So first, and foremost, I wanna commend you guys on your survival skills, and your blind optimism, for being back to read this blog, even after the torture of the last post. Because, seriously, I dun think even I can get myself to read that post again,(I mean in spite of the fact that its like written by me!!!). The very rules of narcissism categorically talk about the ability to love and admire your own creations, irrespective of their crappyness. So a very genuine sorry to all of you. Meanwhile, I've just returned from Delhi, it was my mom and dad's 25th anniversary, on the 18th. There was a nice large family celebration, for which I made the sacrifice(-sniggers-) of a few classes. So the train journey was interesting. I reached the station about an hour early, and spent time reading, Chetan Bhagat's one night @ the call centre ( I know i'm a bit late to be readin that one, but mom hadn given it a great review, and the cover didn't look appetizing either - dun s...

Hey, Whaddup? I don't actually have anything to say.. like my brain is fairly numb and not whizzing like it usually is. There's obviously too much lead in the air. And thats probably the reason why i scored so shit in the exams last time. The thing is that, by now, the desire to bring to your notice the extreme differences in the societies, is having an overwhelming competition with my other significant attribute. Laziness. And the latter is winning hands down. ( part of the reason bein that its like too lazy to do a hands up right? cuz like its lazy) The deal is simply that, its a young society ( not in age or wisdom and that kinda stuff, but in exposure to things like multinational food industries, fashion industries, eating out routines, tall buildings - read on for proof - and other such stuff). So I didn't really express any shock at the fact that a guy who wanted to use the lift in a building, pressed the up arrow even though he wanted to go down. And when I asked him...

18th nov 09 So here's an experience worth sharing. Right now, I'm in my kitchen boiling some milk for use tomorrow, n I can hear a loud racket outside on the street. There are a no. of men on motorcycles, n on foot, walking with a vehicle which is here called a tempo, or a mini truck. There are two men along with this troupe of people who are playin the dholak. The truck is stacked to the brim with more ppl. And on the truck is a loud speaker, requesting ppl to vote for Mr. Ramgopal Nagar. Welcome to the scene of election campaining. About a few minutes back, I had heard, along with the dholak (a kind of drum.)and the loudspeaker (both of which had not managed to incite my curiosity enough to actually go and check out whats happening, cuz the dholak players and the loudspeakers had been moving around the locality for a few days now) unfamiliar voices emanating from down stairs. Out of curiosity, I exited the kitchen and went to peer down from the terrace, at the commotion belo...

So wel, i won't really be typin much here, but wil be doin the one thing that i can't from kota, posting pics. Most of these will make Kota look like a very pretty place. Please understand, thats just the awesomeness of the photographer. Ok, that was a lie really. God LOVES to paint up the sky there, its just brilliant. So there, i grudgingly praised one aspect of Kota. The skies are beautiful. The ALMIGHTY is one fantastic artist. And the most brilliant now i think... The next picture, is a photograph of the cycle stand in the coaching institute i'm attending, the photograph has been taken from the 1st floor. ( camera phones are not allowed within the institute.) The cycles depicted, are the cycles of the students who have dropped a year, and even in that of those who do not use autos. so its only a fraction of bout 1/3rd of the total no, of students present in the institute. here goes nothin... These are pics of the same, taken from the 4th floor, by another student...

I'm like bored. I wanna talk crap. Somethin somethin ored, somethin somethin ap. I'm really amazin at makin stuff rhyme. somethin somethin azing somethin somethin yme. I dunno what next I could maybe write No more somethin somethin No more even rhyme. I once saw a cat I then wore a hat And picked up a bat lying on the mat running was the cat but it was too fat yesterday I gave SAT I even saw a rat He was very fat I do love to chat. * Bows to the applause *

I'm happy today, With the bliss of knowin, Your loved ones are pleasured, And their faces glowin So I talked to a friend who had been low in life, And I'm happy to say she's winnin the strife, Hadn't been in contact for way too long, And her happiness is makin me write a song. She faced her ordeals in silence alone, Even though I was always sittin by the phone, Waitin for a friend who might need my help, But she never called or even slipped a yelp. And the one day she broke down right in front of me, And I told her look round, You will see that we, Are always there for you. She still kept her pain, there was lil i could do, And I tried again & again But the situations were grave. And then one day her voice was back, Chirpy, talkative and suave, And it was nice to hear that. The college to go wasn't yet sure, And the ordeals still lay, But she had found a cure, somethin had renewed her faith. She had won an international run of photography, And written stories to...

So among things worth writin about has to be this talk I had with a camgirl about a month back ( I don't actually remember much of the convo really, but i'm talkin bout things worth writin bout, whether or not i'm able to do it is a very different issure. Besides i'm a guy, I probably jus wanna proclaim the fact that i did - not the writing, the talkin. See now i'm really hopin that my loopy windey sentence made sense to you. If it did, you have reason to worry. Or you're the spinning arrow. Although the latter is probably a subset condition of the former. If none of this made any sense to you, you should try another blog. [and needless to say you're NOT The Spinning Arrow . Yet i did say. I'm no longer wondering why I wonder if I overstate the obvious. Its obvious. I do overstate the obvious.] and make sure that the other blog is preferably NOT written by aliens. Which doesn't really say this one is, but by now you're probably NOT reading. So i ...

Ok. People here are pretty fucked messed up. I have decided to keep my blog clean of bad words( see the Heck in capitals in the Bansal Classes post? That had been a 4 letter word with the letters f, u, and k in it. And no, it wasn't 'Funk') but then few other words would describe it more suitably. Now you'd probably expect me to elaborate right? Its too much typing yaar, jus take it cuz I said it na? I mean if you really were that much of an analytical-wanna-know-proof-scienceboy/girl, you'd have been here in this stupid git of a place with me. (ok thats really not true, but if you didn't notice I'm irritated and irrational right now. Oh and its like fun. Infact I'm trying not to get carried away with the feel good factor and am actually refraining from passin comments about one more coolio right now, cuz the coolio reads this dumb blog.) Anyway, so in the class, this sheet of paper had fallen on the floor from the girls' desk(all the girls sit in t...

21 Sept 09 So I'm sick. No, not in the metaphorical sense. I have a bit of fever. Its called havin -it-will-make-u-stop- givin -a-crap-bout-the- conc -of-H+ ions-in-a-0.2 Molar-ammonium chloride-solution. Thats why I'm not finding the answer to that question right now. Its the fever. From my side, I'm highly committed. So anyway, 1st n foremost, I wanna show my gratitude and alarm to all u folks reading this blog (yes, both of you.) Gratitude, cuz I didn ' actually expect anyone to read it (and special thanks to smelly cat for her appreciation of the poetry. the last complement was the best i could ask for i think. :D ) Alarm, cuz some of you are genuinely findin it interestin . This is the next day. I had started writin the note, but the fever got to me n I jus slept. I'm still sick. Today its called you- wil -have-to-do-physics- inspite -of-this-loser-of-a-virus. Haven't told my parents bout it, cuz yesterday(adorable as they are) they got too worried, ...

Hey you. Yes you. Go away. N then I wait. But yet you stay? Are you gay? Not the men touchin men way, Cuz thats okay, But the doormat that stays, inspite of being told to go away. Ah wel, let me ignore then. And play with my fountain pen. See how it squirts the ink! I coloured blue the sink. I don't like the colour pink. And you're still here, Starin at the screen. You're weird dear, N have lil self esteem. Cuz you still linger. Waitin for me to show the finger? U think m bein rude? By not offering food to ur cute lil ego, Ah wel I might as wel go, Cuz u jus won't. Yes I'm Jekyll, And I'm Hyde, and every nice poem, I will neutralize.

So why do we run after glitter Or Bright flashin lights Doesn gold seem but fitter To seek concrete delight I mean it does come from stones N diamonds from black mines But does it matter what makes the tone, When the music is divine? All that glitters is not gold, N often all that is gold does not glitter, Yet we seek the rainbow in the sky Which is essentially just a lie An illusion, a trick of the eye N we forget to look at the dirty swamps on the ground Where you may find lotus growin sound. Even the diamond n the gold in your ear, The ones you flaunt to your peers N talk bout the glam shops they came from, Even they have once adorned, A carbon mine, been an equal to the black coal, Cuz in its soul, Even Diamond is simply complex coal.

16 th Sept 09. So is it just me or do other ppl also walk around thinkin in a talkin to urself manner? Like this question i posed, I had already thought to myself while washing my hands(had gone to pee. ok y u lookin at me like i'm a weirdo for sayin that? I mean EVERYONE pees. Except for those on dialysis, but they don't have a choice. Given a choice, they'd rather pee anyday . U could ask them if u don't believe me. Besides look at the good side. I do wash my hands. :D) Ugh. My apologies. (recall what bracketts are for) So anyway comin back to that question. Wait. Nah. Too boring. I haven't told u guys much bout the institute I'm studyin in n all na ? Wel , Its name is Bansal Classes. The story goes, that once upon a time, 3 guys left their jobs in chemical industries in Kota , cuz the company was dyin anyway, n those chemicals were fatal too, n they didn't really want to be around so much death, cuz if they had they'd have been patholo...

14 th sept 09. So on special request,( sounds so cool na ? Yes. Its still the spade theme. I'm exaggerating a non- chalant suggestion into a special request) I decided to squeeze in a post on Delhi n my stay in it. Now, its not gonna be a nice read, cuz up until this moment (of course, i'm talking bout the moment when i was writing, n not when u are readin this post. Sometimes i wonder if i overstate the obvious? I wonder why I wonder that.) I have had no thoughts on Delhi whatsoever, like except for it bein my home, and an amazin place, and some other thoughts i might have had at various points in my life considering i did live there for pretty long, but u get the point right? I mean there is this guy in my head who keeps pointin out technical flaws in my sentences n i can't even shoot him, cuz hez like in my head. So anyway, I was talkin bout how this wil probably be a sucky post, which wil deter furture special requests ( which brings me to a very importa...

So one thing I've learnt recently is, its no fun to call a spade a spade. Its more fun to call it the black card that can capture your soul. That way people listen when you talk. Now, surprising as it may be, that has absolutely nothin to do with what I plan to write further. Although i couldn be too sure. Cuz u see, i don't plan a lot. So needless to say I haven't planned what i'm gonna write. M gonna make it up as I go. ( Ofcourse , I have a feeling thats probably why i'm writing to you from Kota , but the day I'm sure its why, I'll start planning.) So i jus returned from Delhi like a few days back. Ofcourse this trip wasn't planned either. I'd been wallowing in my situation n talked to this friend who was very kind to listen to me n we concluded I needed a break. So I called up my mom, told her i'm coming home tomorrow ( asked her actually, but told sounds cooler - the same not calling a spade that concept - N at this point I owe you...

Oh i'm here, cuz i wanna write a song. Something thoughtless and long. Neither right nor wrong. Jus a superficial blah blah song. But wait where is the music? Or the lyrics about a hot chic? There are some more bad words that end in 'ick'. But using them might be too sick. So i won't. Did i just type out crap? In perfect rhyme scheme? I should have taken that nap. Or atleast decided a theme. Before i told u that i wanna write a song Something thoughtless and long. Neither right nor wrong. You realise how this plans to be long? I'll repeat stuff. N u will keep reading. N to make it more borin, this line duz not match the rhyme scheme. There, i'm a sadist, i'm crazy. My thoughts are unclear n hazy. But i'm basically jus too lazy. And you have too much time on your hands. Cuz you're still reading this mindless rant. Gah, I haven't repeated in a while. Gah, I haven't repeated in a while. Wow, those two rhymed so well. So this one wil not at all. ...

So i sit with the books open at 12:30 in the night. Quite unable to really bring the subject to light Cuz comprehension seems to be an inaccessible girl. And distractions more than jus abound in my world. And my phone jumps up, glowing on the bed. And a message shows what a friend has jus said. Isn't happiness most important in life? Is givin it up really worth this strife? I ponder a moment and send a reply That seems to claim something very high. But in my mind, i can't even deny, This is misery, n my text a lie. So i convince me, its yin and yang, Live some more and you'll get a hang. Of how life goes, some friends some foes, thorns enshroud a pretty rose. there is good n there is bad, there's happy n jus sad, so don't be mad. Cuz the glass is half full if its half empty. Living, inspite of all remains tempting. And at the end there is always death. The wiping clean of the slate, where you finally escape your fate, your misery, but also leave your love, your fami...

27th July, 09 Monday/ bout 5 o' clock. Yes, this one has been an overdue post. So here i am. Back to talk to myself on the internet. (But its fun pretendin that a 'you' exists) and to avoid bein diagnoesed with O.C.D ( Obsessive obsessive compulsive compulsive disorder disorder :P) my next post is not gonna be about Kota. :O eh? Another time. Right now, i'm on the terrace, enjoying an absolutely absolutely blissful breeze, the newspaper in my hand is flutterin every now, n then and the sky stretches all over my head. And page no. 8 of today's newspaper talks bout how most tourists comin to India are from US. It doesn take a genius to figure what i'm likely to talk bout from here on duz it? So one thing that i just find incredibly buggin, is the obsession of the media over the US. Like u know, its funny how after 9/11, every terrorist attack on India is deemed India's 9/11? Notwithstanding the fact that we have dealt with them a lot more, been affected a lot ...

Wel i'm back, its about 9:00 pm, and i'm walkin back home from the mess after dining alone for the most, and then being accompanied in the activity by a guy wid a cap worn backwards..like Govinda did i think..? :P . Speaking of the mess, thankfully i found one that duzn cater to a thousand students in a humid and sweaty kitchen. This one has an AC, n a tv. Both luxuries now. Among the good things, I'm the eldest in my building! N by that i mean, jus a difference of one year. Yet they address me as 'bhaiya'. Its new, but its nice. Delhi, is something of a power jungle, where respect is proportional to success. ( and most often success to money) n i'm obviously no success. But i can kinda see most of my housemates being one. And i like the humility they have. Its refreshing. I'll exit now. Studies await like a pet dog for the master. Except, i'm not the master. Ps- Ever seen an LCD DVD player in an auto? I did. :P PPS- my friend's girl gave her persona...

3:00 p.m 15th July, Sat. Its been a nice rainy day so far..n i'm on to my second post,(i probably didn't think i'd get this far, but then i probably didn't think that i'd end up in Kota) i'm still alien to the way ppl think around here, quite frankly i am kinda disgusted by their perception of women here, its like the men are sex starved, cuz they have pretty much never enjoyed a conversation wid the opposite, so they treat them like sex objects, the key to attaining which lies in earning lots of money through iit, n then goin to their parents and askin for marriage. And i'm talkin bout the teachers too, one of whom while explainin how to deal wid the mental block of not being able to solve difficult questions during an exam , told us how he would relax his mind by having water, " But u can't do that after every question, so i would just sit n look at some attractive objects in the room" , the word he used was 'aakarshaniya padaarth', ...

So after an excrutiatingly disjoined start, i plan to restart what i once started, n hopefully stick with it(that a PCD song? :P we'll get there someday i'm sure). As of now, i'm sitting on my desk in Kota,with a physics module opened to page 1, and about 20 questions seem to be starin at me. N i can safely say its not too much effort to ignore them. Infact, i'm used to people starin at me now. I'm a loosely clothed, shorts wearin, stubbled loner in the education village of Kota. I break into English when i wanna express myself better. THAT doesn't help in Kota. For the unaware, Kota is somethin of an education capital of India.. atleast for IIT JEE aspirants. Except its essentially an underdeveloped town, or a lil developed village. Yet, ironically, here, noone wears anything short of Versace, Gucci, Dolce & Gabbana and Live's (no, thats not a typo, atleast not from my side). And the copiers couldn make them less like the originals. Even if they tried. ...